Shallow Means, Deep Ends
by neo-chan
Summary: Yamato and Tai take a few wrong turns on their drive up to the beach. Interesting, spontaneous actions ensue... actions that have consequences.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Okay, for those of you who read my profile and/or the author's note in Playing for Keeps, I lied. This is no longer going to be a standalone, it's going to be a two-parter. At least, I think it is. At the most, it'll be three parts. But right now, I'm thinking two. So… yeah!

Read! ♥ I love you all.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Digimon or rights to any of the characters, I'm not making a profit off of this, etc.

**Shallow Means, Deep Ends  
**by: neo-chan

"You were supposed to turn back there."

Tai blinked at his best friend and then checked the map before looking back at the road.

"No I wasn't."

"Yes you were."

"How do you know?"

"Because I can read a map!"

To kick off summer, Tai and Yamato were driving up to the beach for the weekend. Mimi and Sora were already up at Mimi's beach cottage, so the four friends planned to rendezvous at the beach. Neither Tai nor Yamato had a beach cottage, but Yamato did have an uncle with a house fairly near the beach. His uncle Jim and his wife Emma were more than happy to let Yamato and Tai stay there- they loved company, especially since they had a big house all to themselves and two spare rooms that were just sitting there.

"Well so can I!" Tai retorted. "Besides, the last time I checked, you **couldn't** read a map. Actually, the last time I checked, you told me you didn't know which direction south was. When did you magically develop map-reading skills?"

"I can't read **complicated** maps, and you don't even need to know where south is for this map! This is the most basic map I've ever seen!"

"Yama, girls can't read maps."

"What the fuck?" Yamato glared at his friend. "I'm not a fucking girl, Tai!"

"I never said you were. I'm just saying… girls can't read maps."

Yamato shot his friend a deathly glare and turned to look out the window, annoyed. It was going to be a long trip.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

"Shit, we're lost."

Yamato let out a long, frustrated sigh at his best friend's revelation.

"No shit. See, I told you- you were supposed to turn."

"No, I was right about that. I wasn't supposed to turn. But I think I missed a different turn, 'cause I don't know where the fuck we are."

"Great." Yamato shook his head. "Stop the car, Tai."

"Why?"

"Because it doesn't make sense to keep driving if we don't know where we're going!"

Tai shrugged in agreement and pulled over to the side of the road, stopping the car. It was dark out and the road was quite abandoned, so Yamato became somewhat alarmed when Tai opened the car door and stepped out.

"Are you crazy?" the blonde exclaimed, stepping out of the car also and looking around nervously. "We're in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night! Get back in the car before we get murdered and dragged off into the forest!"

Tai rolled his eyes. "Calm down. I need some fresh air, and we're not in the middle of nowhere. We've only been driving off-course for maybe a couple of hours."

Yamato's eyes widened. "**What**?"

"Shh, no need to shout."

"You drove for **a couple of hours** without knowing where we were going? Why didn't you say something earlier? Oh my God, we're going to die."

"Calm down, drama queen. I'll just look at the map and try to figure out what direction will get us back to the main road…"

"Why don't we just flag down the next car that passes and ask them? Wait, no- if we do that, we'll get killed for sure. Why don't we just call someone? I'll call my dad, or my uncle."

Yamato got out his phone, but Tai plucked it out of his hands.

"No! I can figure this out."

"Tai, are you kidding?" Yamato cried in frustration. "I don't want to fucking die!"

"You're not going to die! Besides, you've got no service out here anyway. Your phone is crap."

Yamato grabbed his phone back to find that he indeed had no service. He then reached into Tai's pocket to grab the other boy's phone which, to Yamato's dismay, had no service either.

"Shit! Fuck, what are we going to do?"

"Well, you can let me look at the map and try to figure out where we are, or you can keep bitching and we'll be stuck here for longer."

"I'm not bitching! And, fine, try to figure out the stupid map- but let's get back in the car!"

For the next fifteen minutes, Yamato kept quiet while Tai studied the map. As the minutes went by and still not a single car passed, his worry increased. Being on a deserted road in the middle of the night was **not** what he'd signed up for.

"Remind me never to drive up here with you ever again," Yamato muttered. "**Ever**."

"Yama, I'm seriously going to start pinching you every time you start bitching. And believe me; you don't want that… especially since we're going to be staying the night here."

"**What**?"

"Yeah, the map's not helping. I'll figure it out in the morning. It'll only set us back a little- we'll still have most of the weekend left."

Yamato stared at his brown-haired friend for several long moments. When he finally spoke, his voice was a low hiss.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Nope. So, you want the back seat or what?"

Instead of responding, Yamato opened the car door and got out, slamming it shut behind him. Tai sighed to himself and took a deep breath before getting out as well.

"Yama, come on," he said, walking around to the other boy and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "It's just one night. We'll be fine, you're not going to die, and we'll be back on track in the morning. People get lost all the time. You're just paranoid."

"Yeah, tell me I'm paranoid when some crazy axe murderer comes and chops us up into little pieces," Yamato said bitterly.

"If some crazy axe murderer gets us, then I give you full permission to haunt me for all eternity."

"I can't haunt you if you're dead too, you dumbass."

Tai actually looked kind of hurt. "Hey, I'm just trying to make you feel better. No need to be all snappy."

Yamato let out a heavy sigh. Okay, maybe he was being a little harsh with Tai. He was honestly scared, though, and Tai was acting like it was no big deal.

"I'm sorry," Yamato muttered. "I just don't want to die out here."

"Are you really that scared?"

Yamato's silence was all the confirmation Tai needed.

"Alright, get in the car."

Yamato moved to get into the passenger seat but Tai stopped him, shaking his head.

"No, get in the back."

Not seeing a reason to argue, Yamato did. Tai got in beside him and shut the door behind them, then shook his head at Yamato's paranoia when the blond reached forward and made sure to lock the car doors.

"You need to relax," Tai declared.

"Don't you think I want to?" Yamato retorted.

Tai didn't respond- instead, he reached over and began unfastening the other boy's pants.

Yamato quickly batted Tai's hands away, his face instantly flushing red.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he exclaimed, hoping that the dark covered up his blush.

"Helping you relax," Tai said simply.

"How does that involve taking off my pants?"

"A blowjob will help you relax, am I right?"

Yamato felt his face heat up even more, and he felt a violent flutter in his stomach that made his breath shorten and his heart race.

"Tai!" was all he managed to get out, cursing the way his voice sounded so high.

"What?" Tai asked innocently. "You want to relax, right? So I'm going to help you relax."

"You can't just give me a blowjob!"

"Yama, shut up. Trust me, it'll make you feel better. You'll relax and go to sleep, we'll wake up in the morning and get back on track, and that'll be it."

Yamato was silent for several long moments. Finally he spoke, hesitantly.

"That's it?"

"That's it," Tai confirmed.

More silence. Then, so slight that Tai barely caught it in the dark, Yamato nodded.

Yamato swallowed a lump in his throat as he felt Tai's hands working again at his jeans. Tai was quick and within seconds, he had Yamato's jeans and boxers pulled down. He pushed the blonde gently to lean against the car door and then bent down, placing his lips over the semi-hard cock in front of him.

It was awkward. Yeah, it felt good in a weird kind of way, but Yamato was still uneasy about the whole situation. He kept looking down at what Tai was doing and then looking away, because he wasn't sure if he wanted to watch his best friend suck him off or not, and he wanted to break the tense silence… but it wasn't like he could just crack a joke or something to lighten the mood. Besides, it wasn't like Tai would even be able to respond for obvious reasons.

Yamato also didn't know what to do with his hands. They were hanging limply at his sides and he was itching to do something with them, but what? He couldn't touch Tai, that was for sure. That would just make things more awkward, right? And what about the moans that were sure to escape his throat? That would embarrass him more than he could even imagine.

Yamato's thoughts came to a sudden halt when Tai stopped and looked up, trying to meet Yamato's eyes. Yamato tried to look anywhere but Tai, shifting uncomfortably, and spoke.

"Why'd you stop?"

Tai didn't respond right away, and Yamato jumped a bit when Tai pressed a kiss to the inside of his thigh and then sucked gently. Why did that feel so good? Why the hell did it have to be Tai doing it to him?

The pressure of Tai's warm mouth moved to Yamato's stomach as Tai lifted the blonde's shirt briefly, and the sensation lingered even when Tai moved away and brought himself to Yamato's eye-level.

"You're supposed to be relaxing," he said. "You still seem pretty fucking tense to me."

Yamato let out a heavy sigh, letting his head rest back and closing his eyes. "What do you expect, Tai?"

Tai was silent and Yamato shook his head, opening his eyes and speaking again.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Just… forget it."

"No." Tai's voice was firm. "This will work. Just… pretend I'm a girl or something."

Yamato let out a dry laugh. "It's not that easy."

Tai sighed in frustration. "Well, fuck… what do you want me to do? I want to help you relax, Yama."

"There's nothing I can do either!" Yamato cried. "It's not my fault that it feels so fucking awkward!"

"It feels awkward 'because you're thinking too much about it! Don't think, just shut your brain down and relax!"

Neither boy spoke or moved for several moments. Then, finally, Yamato sighed.

"Fine… let's give it another try."

Tai didn't move, though, and Yamato looked at him inquisitively. Tai met his gaze unblinkingly and brushed a hand lightly over Yamato's cheek.

"Can I kiss you?" he murmured.

Yamato's heart leapt into his throat, rendering him speechless for quite a few moments. He opened his mouth, shut it, opened it again, and felt like an idiot when nothing came out.

Tai took that as a no and bent back down wordlessly, lips encircling Yamato's member once again. This time, Yamato forced all of his thoughts to the back of his mind and closed his eyes, trying to "relax". He tried to stop thinking about the fact that he was in the middle of nowhere, in the back seat of a car, having his best friend give him a blowjob… and the fact that said best friend had just randomly asked to kiss him.

Apparently his attempt to "relax" worked, because Yamato could swear what Tai was doing felt twice as good as it had before. He tried to hold back a moan, but it came out softly as Tai began bobbing his head up and down. Yamato bit his lip and opened his eyes, watching Tai's work intently. He was incredibly good at what he was doing, which made Yamato think he must've had practice. He didn't care, though, as long as Tai didn't stop.

It wasn't long before Yamato had his head tilted back in pleasure and his fingers buried in Tai's hair. He let out a groan and thrust gently into Tai's mouth, unable to stop himself. Tai didn't seem to mind, though- in fact, Yamato could swear the other boy seemed almost enthusiastic about it.

"Shit, Tai," Yamato breathed, biting his lip briefly, "I'm gonna fucking-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence, because Tai's tongue maneuvered in a way that pushed him over the edge. Moaning, Yamato reached his release- and, surprisingly, Tai swallowed every last drop.

Gently removing Yamato's hands from his head, Tai moved back up to blonde's eye-level and repeated his earlier question.

"Can I kiss you now?"

"You can do whatever the fuck you want," Yamato murmured, his mind still hazy with pleasure.

Tai chuckled lightly, then leaned in and pressed his lips to Yamato's chastely before pulling back.

"I'm serious. Can I kiss you? I mean, a real kiss?"

Yamato's gut told him to say yes. It would be stupid to say no, especially after Tai had just given him possibly the best blowjob of his life. But he hesitated. A kiss would make it that much more personal, give it that much more meaning. Did he really want to deal with that?

"It's okay," Tai said before the blonde could make up his mind. He slid across the seat and opened the opposite door, turning back to Yamato briefly before getting out.

"I'll be right back, 'kay?"

Without waiting for an answer, Tai got out of the car and shut the door. Yamato stared after him for a moment, replaying the last few seconds in his head to make sure he'd really seen what he'd seen.

Tai was hard. If he'd been trying to hide it, he hadn't succeeded. It wasn't that big of a deal but, considering the situation, it could mean several things.

Yamato fixed his boxers and his pants, then lay down across the back seat and closed his eyes. He was feeling kind of sleepy anyway, and if he was asleep that meant that he wouldn't be able to explore any of the ideas in his head. At that moment, not thinking about anything sounded very good indeed.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

When Yamato woke up, the first thing he noticed was that the car was moving. This alarmed him slightly and he quickly sat up to make sure that it was Tai driving and not some psycho killer.

Tai looked in the rearview mirror and flashed him a grin.

"Morning, sunshine!"

"Morning," Yamato replied, relieved. He ran a hand through his hair and briefly wondered just how bad it looked.

"You look fine," Tai said, seemingly having read Yamato's mind. "Now, get up here."

Yamato managed to climb from the back seat to the passenger seat quite skilfully and, once he was there, couldn't help but glance in the mirror. His hair wasn't too bad, but it could use some help once they reached his uncle's place.

"So we're back on track?" Yamato asked, noticing a few fresh scribbles on the map between them.

"Yup. I figured out where I made a wrong turn and once my cell phone got some reception back, I called your dad to make sure."

"Oh. Cool."

There was silence between the two boys for a few minutes. Yamato stared out the window, gathering his nerve. He'd never said thank-you to Tai for helping him "relax" the previous night, and it was well overdue. But how was he supposed to bring it up without making it awkward, especially after Tai had asked to kiss him and then gone to jack himself off afterwards? Yamato took a deep breath. He was just going to have to risk it being awkward.

"By the way… thanks."

"What, for getting us back on track? That was kind of necessary, don't you think?"

"No, not that. For…" Yamato shook his head. "You know what I'm talking about."

Tai took his eyes off of the road for a moment to look at Yamato. "Don't worry about it."

And that was it. Tai continued driving and there was no tension between them.

…but Yamato kind of didn't want that to be it, because he was kind of curious as to why Tai wanted to kiss him. Alright, he wasn't **kind of** curious- he was **very** curious.

"Tai?"

"Yeah?"

From Tai's tone of voice, Yamato knew that he knew what was coming.

"Did you really want to kiss me, last night?"

"Would I ask to kiss you if I didn't want to?"

"Just answer yes or no."

Tai sighed. "Yes, Yama, I really wanted to kiss you."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I just did."

"That's a shitty reason."

"Well, sorry," Tai said with a hint of sarcasm.

Yamato frowned a bit. He just did? What kind of a reason was that? It didn't satisfy Yamato's curiosity at all.

"So you just randomly felt like kissing me?" he pressed.

"Yes, Yama, I just randomly felt like kissing you."

"You're such a liar!" Yamato exclaimed, frustrated. "You can't just randomly want to kiss someone for no reason!"

"Just forget about it. I told you we'd drop it in the morning. You're not dropping it."

"That's because I don't understand how you could just randomly want to kiss me!"

Tai sighed in annoyance. "I'd just finished giving you a fucking blowjob, of course I wanted to kiss you! It's only natural!"

"Was going to jack off afterwards natural too?"

Tai turned to gape at Yamato, but quickly turned his attention back to the road after nearly driving into a ditch.

"You were fucking moaning and shit! Of course I got fucking hard! It **is** a fucking natural reaction!"

"I was just saying…"

Silence fell over the boys once again, but not for long. Tai pulled the car over to the side of the road, stopping temporarily and turning to face Yamato with a frown.

"What the fuck do you want from me, Yama? Honestly."

"Honestly?" Yamato shrugged his shoulders helplessly. "I don't know."

"Then fucking drop it."

The rest of the ride was silent. Yamato knew he'd pissed Tai off a little bit, but he was kind of annoyed as well because… well, Tai still hadn't answered his question. 'I just did' was the lamest answer ever. Yamato didn't bring it up again, though, because he knew Tai would be seriously pissed off if he did.

"Finally you boys made it!" Yamato's uncle exclaimed when they pulled into the driveway and got out of the car. He got up from where he was sitting on the front porch and walked over to where they were unpacking their things out of the trunk of the car. "How was the drive?"

"Long," was Tai's response.

"We got lost," Yamato added.

"Yes, your father told me. Hopefully you'll be alright on the way back. Anyway, Emma's inside waiting for you two. I think she baked some cookies."

Yamato and Tai followed Jim into the house and to the living room, where Emma was indeed waiting with cookies. Blazer and Rocha, she and Jim's two dogs, were also waiting.

Emma greeted the boys warmly, as did the dogs. After chatting a bit, Tai went outside to play fetch with the dogs and Jim went out to run an errand, which left Yamato and Emma alone.

"Well?" Emma prompted Yamato, raising an eyebrow expectantly.

"Well what?" Yamato asked, confused.

"You and Tai haven't been acting like your regular selves. What's going on?"

Yamato and Emma were very close, despite not being related by blood. Yamato knew he could talk to her about anything… but he just didn't feel like talking about this particular situation.

"We just had a bit of a fight on the way over," Yamato avoided the question. "It's no big deal, we'll be fine."

"If you say so." Emma didn't look convinced.

Instead of going to the beach that day- it was already too late to start heading out to the beach anyway-, Yamato and Tai hung around the house with Jim and Emma and then went out to dinner with them. They all watched a movie together when they got home and then watched TV for a while before heading to bed. Yamato was kind of glad that they'd spent the day with his aunt and uncle, because that meant he'd been able to avoid being alone with Tai and feeling awkward. He didn't know how he'd survive the next day, though, because even though they'd be with Sora and Mimi, he was bound to be alone with Tai at some point.

Yamato couldn't sleep knowing that there was still tension lingering between him and Tai. He tossed and turned for quite some time before getting up and quietly making his way down the hall to the next bedroom, where Tai was sleeping. Apparently the brunette hadn't been able to sleep either because when Yamato sat down at the edge of the bed, Tai spoke immediately.

"What's up?" he asked, shifting in the bed.

"I can't sleep," Yamato replied, tracing patterns in the sheets with his finger.

"Huh."

There was silence for a few moments, then Tai sat up and motioned for Yamato to move closer. "Come here."

Yamato slid over and didn't protest when he felt Tai's fingers tug at the waistband of his boxers. After all, he did need to relax.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this second (and final) part out! Hope you enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Digimon or rights to any of the characters; I'm not making a profit off of this, etc.

**Shallow Means, Deep Ends  
**by: neo-chan

Yamato woke up the next morning feeling strangely calm. However, his calm state quickly disappeared when he remembered why he had slept so well the previous night. Yamato rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling, his thoughts a mess. He wanted to smack Tai for offering his services in the first place. He wished they hadn't gotten lost so that the whole situation never would have happened. He was frustrated with himself for not just dropping it like Tai had said. But mostly, he wanted the following night to come because he was curious. He wanted to know what would happen if he and Tai were put into that situation a third time. He also kind of wanted to know what would happen if he let Tai kiss him.

Yamato ran his hands over his face and sighed. Everything was just completely messed up.

"You awake?"

Yamato looked to the doorway and found Tai standing there. After a moment, he registered Tai's question and nodded.

"Mimi just called my cell. They're going to be at the beach in an hour and a half. She said we can hang out at her cottage later until we're ready to come back here."

"Okay."

"Okay," Tai echoed. "So… get dressed and shit."

Yamato nodded again and Tai left the room promptly.

For a moment, Yamato just laid there. Then he rolled over and groaned into his pillow. That had, by far, been the most tense and impersonal conversation the two boys had ever had. Things were more messed-up than he'd thought.

The two boys tried to pass off the tension between them as mere morning exhaustion, but it was highly doubtful that it worked- especially due to the concerned look on Emma's face during breakfast. Neither boy spoke unless prompted, nor did they say even one word directly to each other. It was a painfully uncomfortable situation.

"Remember," Emma whispered to Yamato, taking him aside just before he and Tai left, "if you want to talk, I'm always here."

Yamato forced a smile and nodded, and then the two boys set off.

Neither boy spoke a word for the whole trip, pretending to enjoy the half-decent music playing on the radio too much to turn it down. Both knew that their behaviour was pathetic, but didn't dare say something for fear of making things even worse.

Of course, Mimi and Sora knew something was wrong as soon as they met up with the boys. They gave it a couple of hours, to see if the boys would work it out on their own, and then took it upon themselves to step in.

"Who wants to go for a swim?" Sora asked, giving Mimi a discreet look.

"I'll stay here," Mimi said, catching on. "I want to get some more sun before I go into the water."

"I'll come," Tai volunteered, like Sora knew he would.

"What about you, Matt?" Sora asked, knowing full well what the answer would be.

"Nah, I'm going to stay here with Mimi," Yamato declined the invitation as expected.

"Alright, we'll see you guys in a bit!" Sora called as she and Tai headed out to the water.

"So," Mimi said casually, stretching out on a beach chair, "how has your weekend been so far?"

Yamato shrugged, trying to appear indifferent. "Good. How has yours been?"

"Good," Mimi echoed. She adjusted her sunglasses and waited a moment before asking, "So, any particular reason you and Tai aren't speaking?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Yamato said firmly. He had known the question was coming, and there was no way he was going to talk to Mimi about the situation.

Mimi studied Yamato for a moment thoughtfully. "This is serious, isn't it? I mean… you two aren't acting like you usually do when you're mad at each other. You don't even seem mad at each other, you just seem… weird. What happened?"

"I told you," Yamato repeated, "I don't want to talk about it."

Normally, Mimi would keep asking. This time, she knew better. By the way Yamato was acting; she knew it was something the boys had to settle between themselves. Apparently Sora came to the same conclusion, because she gave Mimi a look that said "let's leave it alone" when she and Tai got back.

Under normal circumstances, the girls would have then plotted to leave Yamato and Tai alone together until they sorted things out. But, again, this wasn't a normal situation. So, to Yamato and Tai's relief, the girls didn't leave them alone together at any point in the day. Luckily this was an easy task, because they met a group of friendly people their age who hung out with them most of the day- they even hung out with them afterwards at Mimi's cottage.

The ride from Mimi's cottage back to Yamato's uncle's place was predictably silent, but the boys were too tired to be bothered by it. Jim and Emma were asleep by the time they got back, so Yamato and Tai headed straight to their respective rooms to sleep. Regardless of how tired he'd previously felt, though, once he was in bed Yamato felt wide awake. However, he knew better than to visit Tai's room like he had the previous night. He was definitely tempted to but he knew that if he did, the situation would grow a thousand times worse. That was the last thing he needed.

Sleep didn't come easy for either of the boys and both were exhausted when they set out the next morning. Jim and Emma saw them off, saying goodbye and telling them to visit again soon. Emma pulled Yamato aside briefly to tell him again that if he wanted to talk, he could call her. Yamato gave her a hug and assured her that he would be fine.

The boys said goodbye again and then took off. The plan was to meet Mimi and Sora for brunch and then hang out at the beach with them until they were ready to start the long trip home. Both boys had a feeling they'd be leaving sooner than they had originally thought, due to the unfortunate situation they had put themselves into.

The silence was becoming unbearable. They were only halfway to where they were meeting Mimi and Sora, and already Yamato felt the tension getting to him. There was no way he could last another **second** in silence… so he spoke.

"Pull over."

Tai didn't respond and for a moment Yamato thought Tai didn't hear him, but then Tai turned onto the next street and pulled over to the side of the road. After doing so, he turned to face Yamato blankly.

Yamato didn't know why he'd asked Tai to pull over. All he knew was that the urge to kiss the other boy was extremely strong for some reason. Ever since Tai had asked to kiss him, he'd been wondering what it would be like to actually do it… and he figured it was about time that he found out.

Yamato grabbed hold of the front of Tai's shirt and pulled the brunette towards him, leaning in to press their lips together. It was awkward for about a split second, then all of the tension disappeared and the kiss became frantic and full of desire.

They kissed hungrily, unbuckling their seatbelts and pulling each other closer until Yamato was pressed back against the door and Tai was practically on top of him. When they eventually broke for air, Yamato tilted his head back and Tai took that opportunity to kiss and suck at Yamato's neck, enjoying the small moans that the blonde emitted. Apparently Yamato wanted more, though, because he reached down between their bodies and began fumbling with Tai's belt and jeans, trying to unfasten them as quickly as possible. It was quite difficult, seeing as they were in a cramped space, but the boys managed to rid themselves of their pants and boxers completely in record time. Yamato then buried his fingers in Tai's hair and pulled him back to his lips, kissing him deeply and moving his hips against Tai's with a moan. Tai's response was to pull Yamato's legs up around his waist and then slide his fingers into the blonde boy, who let out a gasp at the sudden action. He didn't protest, though, and it wasn't long before Tai had whipped out a condom from God-knows-where (Yamato didn't really want to know) and was coating his member with some sunblock he'd grabbed from one of their bags.

Neither boy had ever felt so good in their lives. Between Tai's deep thrusts and Yamato's uncontrollable moans, it was hard to hold on for long and before they knew it, it was over too soon. After one last series of frighteningly passionate kisses, the boys tidied themselves up and took a brief moment to try and regain their composure before continuing to drive on wards. The farther they drove, though, the heavier the sense of regret looming over their heads became.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

Yamato practically leapt out of the car once they reached the restaurant that they were meeting the girls at. His mind was reeling with thoughts of what he and Tai had just done. If it weren't for the vivid memory in his mind and how conscious he felt of his rear, he wouldn't believe it had happened at all. One thing was for sure- things were more screwed-up than Yamato could have ever imagined.

Before Yamato had time to dwell on these thoughts, though, they were inside the restaurant and he had to pretend that things were at least relatively fine. He and Tai didn't look at each other even once the whole time and Yamato knew it was obvious that they were acting weird, but he didn't care- he couldn't look at Tai, not after what had happened, and he didn't think he'd be able to look at the other boy for a very long time. He couldn't believe he'd just had sex with Tai… in the front seat of Tai's car… while the car was pulled off to the side of the road. Yamato was, to say the very least, extremely embarrassed with himself.

Yamato's uneasiness made him increasingly quiet and withdrawn throughout the day, but Tai made up for it by being excessively loud and outgoing. That was how it always was- whenever Yamato and Tai weren't speaking, Yamato would keep to himself while Tai would busy himself with being as social as possible. They had completely opposite ways of dealing with situations. This was the worst it had ever been, though, and Yamato knew it was bad when Tai didn't stop talking for more than ten seconds at a time.

The day felt long and painful for Yamato, and he was relieved when the group they were with (because the same people from yesterday, plus a few more, had joined them) decided to retire from the beach. Unfortunately, they decided to head over to one of their cottages and party… and, naturally, Tai and Yamato were invited. Yamato began to consider faking some sort of illness when, to his relief, Tai declined the invitation.

"Actually," he said when they were about to head off, "I think me and Yama are going to have to cut this trip short… sorry, guys."

Of course, they protested (mostly because Tai had been a blast the whole day due to his overly social behaviour) and tried to coax Yamato and Tai into staying, but Tai insisted that they had to leave. Once they said goodbye and got into Tai's car, Yamato nearly let out a sigh of happiness.

His happiness lasted about two seconds, though, because then the silent ride home began. Not only was an extremely long and silent car ride frustrating, but it was even worse because Yamato's ass was not taking well to sitting for hours on end- especially because of what he and Tai had done that morning. He tried not to shift around uncomfortably too much, though, because Tai would probably figure out **why **he was shifting around so much and that would make it even more awkward. Yamato had the feeling Tai figured it out after a while anyway, though, because he swore that at one point Tai was almost smirking. He resisted the urge to smack Tai and instead opted for looking out the window.

After what felt like forever (after all, it had been an excruciatingly long car ride even when he and Tai had been speaking), they finally ended up back in their hometown. When Tai pulled into Yamato's driveway, Yamato muttered a speedy goodbye and then hopped out of the car, grabbing his stuff and all but running inside his house. He'd never been so happy to be home.

"Yamato!" his father greeted him when Yamato entered the house. "How was the trip?"

"Fine," Yamato mumbled, kicking off his shoes and locking the door behind him.

"How are Jim and Emma?"

"Fine."

At that point, his father came out of the kitchen to give Yamato a suspicious look, but by that time Yamato was running up the stairs to his room. With a shake of his head, Mr. Ishida just shrugged and went back into the kitchen.

Yamato didn't leave his house for the next two days- in fact, he hardly left his room. Mimi and Sora had called a few times, but he'd ignored every single one of their calls. In fact, the only call he answered was a call from Emma and Jim asking if he and Tai had arrived home safely.

On the afternoon of the third day, the doorbell rang while Yamato was cooped up in his room watching mind-numbing TV. Not expecting company, Yamato decided that it couldn't be anyone that important and didn't move from where he lay on his bed.

However, the doorbell continued to ring. In fact, it rang in a quite annoying pattern- a pattern that Yamato recognized. Feeling sick to his stomach, he stood up and slowly began heading down the stairs. If he was right, which he probably was, it was Tai- and he knew Tai wouldn't quit until he answered the door.

Sure enough, Tai was standing there when Yamato opened the door. Both boys stared at each other in silence for a couple of moments, and then Yamato spoke.

"Do you want to… come in, I guess?"

Tai nodded, and both boys went silent again as Yamato let Tai in and then they headed to the living room. After sitting down on opposite ends of the couch, Tai finally spoke.

"Listen… I really need to get this out, okay? So… just hear me out."

After a nod of confirmation from Yamato, Tai continued.

"I know things are fucked-up between us right now… I mean, **really** fucked up… and I know I'm risking whatever we've got left by saying this, but… well, fuck it." Tai stopped fiddling with his pants pocket and looked directly into Yamato's eyes. "I love you."

Yamato stared at his brown-haired friend for a long time, his face blank. Tai watched him intently for a reaction, which eventually came- Yamato shook his head and then said possibly the last thing Tai expected:

"Shut up."

Tai blinked, then replayed the previous moment in his head to make sure he hadn't heard wrong. He tilted his head at Yamato and spoke slowly.

"Um… what?"

"I said, shut up. You don't love me." Having said that, Yamato stood up and began walking to the kitchen.

Tai stared, open-mouthed, at the retreating blonde figure until he managed to pick his own self off of the couch and follow him.

"What the fuck?" he asked in disbelief. "Yes I do, Yama, I-"

"No you don't," Yamato said, loudly and firmly.

"Yes I do!" Tai exclaimed, reaching out and turning the blonde to face him by the shoulder.

That was when Tai noticed that Yamato was shaking, and realized that maybe he'd freaked the other boy out just a little bit.

Yamato closed his eyes, bit his lip briefly, and took in a deep breath. Upon letting it out, he opened his eyes and spoke quietly.

"Is this why you asked to kiss me?"

Tai nodded wordlessly.

Yamato took in another shaky breath, then said,

"When you offered to give me a blowjob… that wasn't just for my benefit, was it?"

"Actually, it was," Tai insisted, "and it was fucking hard to do when you were sitting there telling me how weird it felt that it was me doing it."

"It did feel weird," Yamato said stiffly, then added quietly, "…at first."

"And then it felt good, right?" Tai asked.

Yamato was silent, and Tai prompted again,

"Right?"

"Of course it fucking felt good," Yamato all but hissed. "Do you actually think I'm going to stand here and tell you that it didn't feel good?"

Tai held his hands up in defence. "Yama-"

"What do you want me to do, Tai? You come over here and tell me that you supposedly fucking **love** me out of nowhere and I'm supposed to do what, exactly? Tell you that I love you too and we should just go fuck each other's brains out? It's not that easy! I don't know how the fuck I feel about this!"

Yamato was shaking more than before after his outburst, and he folded his arms across his chest as a subconscious defence mechanism. He looked down, knowing he couldn't look at Tai at that moment, and waited for Tai to speak.

Eventually he did, and he spoke in such a soft tone that Yamato almost didn't hear him.

"But you feel **something**."

The silence after his words emphasized them even more, and Yamato swallowed a lump in his throat before speaking.

"…I don't know."

Yamato raised his eyes just in time to see Tai nodding in understanding.

"It's okay. I mean, I know that I randomly sprung this on you and it's hard for you to even grasp the concept… I just needed to tell you. After everything that's happened, I had to."

Yamato let out a heavy sigh. "…I know." He bit his lip, eyes flickering away from Tai's again. "Just… give me some space, okay?"

Tai nodded again. "Okay. I understand." He began to exit the kitchen, but was stopped by fingers wrapping around his wrist. Confused, he turned to face his blonde friend.

"I actually meant personal space," Yamato said with a half-hearted little smile. "I don't want you to leave… I have too many questions to ask. It just makes me uneasy when you stand so close to me."

Tai laughed a little, mostly in relief, and nodded. "No problem, I'll back off a little. Do you want to sit down again or something?"

"Yeah, that would be better."

The two boys headed back to the couch, once again sitting on separate ends. Yamato exhaled deeply, then paused for a moment before asking his first question.

"How long… I mean… how do you know…?" Yamato trailed off, but Tai understood what he was asking.

"I don't know how long, but I think it's safe to say that it's been a hell of a long time because I can't remember **not **feeling this way about you. As for how I know… well… I just **do**. Love is not an easy thing to miss. Every time I look at you, or even think about you, I just… I don't know…" Tai shrugged helplessly. "I can't explain it. It's like… there's this intense feeling that rushes through me and it makes me feel… warm inside. I know it sounds stupid, not to mention lame and incredibly unimpressive, but… like I said, it's just indescribable."

When Tai finally finished, Yamato was just staring at him. Tai was surprised that Yamato hadn't cut him off even once during his little speech, and even more surprised that Yamato actually seemed interested in what he'd said.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Yamato asked softly, not breaking the eye contact.

"Are you kidding?" Tai shook his head. "Look how messed-up everything is between us right now. This is exactly why I didn't tell you."

"I guess that's true," Yamato admitted, "but what were you going to do, just keep it inside forever?"

"Well… yeah, I was going to try to. I know it's not healthy, but… well; the last thing I wanted was to lose you. I still don't want to lose you," Tai corrected himself. "This is going to sound really cheesy, but… well, you're everything to me. If I lost you… I don't know what I'd do."

Yamato didn't know why, but his throat was closing up a bit and he kind of felt like he couldn't breathe. This overwhelming feeling resulted in him not saying anything for several moments. When he finally did speak, his voice was very soft.

"You're not going to lose me."

Yamato met Tai's eyes before adding in the same soft tone, "You'll never lose me."

Tai opened his mouth and then closed it, seemingly at a loss for words. He smiled a bit, then opened his mouth again and this time actually spoke.

"Thank you."

It was kind of a strange thing to say, but Yamato understood.

"You're being so amazing about this," Tai said, smiling at Yamato in a way that made him feel self-conscious. "I actually had a mental list of reactions you could have to this whole thing, and this is definitely better than most of the ones I dreamed up. Of course, in my ideal one you told me you loved me back and we made sweet love, but I can settle for this."

Yamato actually smiled at Tai's light joke, which in turn made Tai smile even more. His smile disappeared, though, and a confused expression took its place when Yamato began scooting towards him on the couch. His confusion disappeared quickly when the blonde wrapped his arms around Tai in a hug.

Tai loosely rested his arms around Yamato's waist, hugging back lightly, and Yamato moved away after a moment to speak.

"I still have a ton of questions to ask you, but first let me just say this: I love you as a best friend, Tai… you know that… but I'm not sure if it's anything more than that."

Tai nodded, and Yamato once again wrapped his arms around him. Tai wanted nothing more than for Yamato to love him as much as he loved the blonde but, for now, this was more than enough. Even if Yamato ended up deciding that he didn't love Tai that way, Tai would still feel grateful- because he still had his best friend, and that was reason enough to be thankful after all they'd been through.

It took a little while, but Yamato and Tai finally found themselves falling back into their usual habits and behaviour around each other. Mimi and Sora were delighted to see that the two boys were back to normal, and Mr. Ishida was just glad that Yamato wasn't hibernating in his room anymore. When weeks passed and Yamato didn't bring up anything to do with Tai loving him or how he felt for Tai, Tai took that as a gentle and indirect rejection. He resumed trying to suppress his feelings, although it was hard when Yamato sometimes gave him these certain looks that made him want to melt inside.

A week or two before summer break ended, the boys sat in Tai's room, playing video games and occasionally stopping to see what was on TV. During one of their TV breaks while Yamato sat leaning against Tai's headboard and Tai lay on his stomach, elbows propping him up, Yamato spoke thoughtfully.

"I can't believe we're going off to college."

Tai sighed heavily. "I know."

The two sat in pensive silence before Tai spoke again.

"I kind of wish I'd decided to go to the same one as you… it's going to suck being so far away from you."

"Well, we're not going to be **that** far away… besides, I can come visit you at your dorm and you can come visit me at mine whenever we want."

"Yeah, but it's not going to be the same," Tai sighed.

"I know."

There was another period of silence, and Tai had turned his attention back to the TV show (although suddenly feeling a little bit down) when Yamato's voice sounded again.

"We could always get a place together."

At first, Tai thought that he had heard wrong. When he sat up and turned to look at his friend, though, the expectant look hinted that he hadn't.

"What?" Tai still said, just in case maybe he was just crazy.

"We could get a place together," Yamato repeated. "Like I said- our schools aren't that far away from each other, and if we found somewhere that was close to both… well, that'd be cool. I mean, obviously we couldn't do it right now since we've already committed to living on residence and stuff but… you know. Maybe later."

Tai continued to stare at Yamato. The fact that Yamato was even thinking that far into the future was… well, it was almost relieving. It meant that Yamato was obviously planning to be a part of Tai's future, even if still just as a friend.

"You'd really want to live with me?" Tai questioned skeptically.

Yamato rolled his eyes and laughed. "Why wouldn't I? You're my best friend. We practically live at each other's houses as it is."

That was true. Still, though, Tai found it really touching that Yamato wanted to live with him. He was probably reading too much into it, but it made him feel really happy… and it just made him love Yamato even more.

Speaking of the boy he loved, the blonde was crawling over to him at that very moment. When they were merely inches apart, Yamato stopped and smiled before speaking softly.

"Besides… I think being live-in boyfriends would be kind of cool."

Tai stared at Yamato for what felt like minutes. When he finally managed to stammer something out, it was a dumbfounded,

"Huh?"

His reply came in the form of gentle hands cupping either side of his face and then warm lips meeting his in a short, sweet kiss. Yamato dropped his hands and smiled at Tai when the kiss was broken, inwardly laughing at the shocked look on his face. Eventually, after tapping into enough brain cells to speak, Tai opened his mouth and attempted to ask,

"What…? I mean, do you… are you…?"

Yamato interrupted Tai's attempt at speech, taking a deep breath and then speaking slowly and softly.

"Every time I look at you, or even think about you, there's this intense feeling that rushes through me…" Yamato offered Tai a light, almost teasing smile but then made his words more serious by adding, "I love you."

That was all Tai needed to hear.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**


End file.
